Devastation and speculation

So, this weekend brought another sad suicide. There have been a few of late, both publically and those entirely unknown outside of those affected.

And so people turn to Facebook and Twitter to voice their heartfelt emotions. Only it doesn't seem very heartfelt. How much thought, care and effort does it take to bash out a quick RIP in 140 characters.

One of the things that tends to annoy me almost as much as the impersonal nature; is the way that people do it as though they are breaking news. I know I have already had a moan about people thinking they are the news and the most reliable source of information.

A lot of people use Facebook and Twitter rather flippantly with a basic disregard for any responsibility or even any basis of fact. It becomes too easy to retweet, adding fuel to the flame of what may just be a nonsense. It has happened a number of times in the past where stories have escalated beyond control with falsities taking the place of facts. I think somewhere before I have ranted about the Facebook campaign to change your profile picture to a cartoon character on behalf of the NSPCC which in fact the NSPCC had nothing whatsoever to do with and which then spiralled further into speculation and just plain random stabs in the dark that the campaign was one created by a paedohphile which spread round like wildfire apparently just from one random comment that "It sounds like something a paedophile would do".

But those that initially jumped on the bandwagon were very quick to jump on to another without any proof that either wagon had wheels on which to run. And it is this irresponsibility that annoys me.

With the suicide over the weekend the internet has already gone wild with speculation. The media - for once - seems to be exercising either a degree of caution or respect; though this is probably more due to the scrutiny of the operation being under the spotlight of the Leveson Inquiry at the moment than out of any real moral cause.

Within hours of the initial reports one of my acquaintences on Facebook had posted about how this should draw attention to depression despite there being no suggestion whatsoever that depression was a factor in the case.

There could have been any number of reasons. The individual was well known and therefore could have been concerned about a story that was going to break either directly or close to home; maybe there had recently been a terminal diagnosis; possibly there was some logic to say "go out at the top of your game". And even if it was depression or some other pressing concern, there could be hundreds of reasons either independently or collectively contributing to the decision, whether reasonable or remarkable. And yet people have taken it upon themselves to start assigning an assumption simply to add to the salacious gossip.

It is speculation, but mostly it is curiousity. People are surprised by the suddeness. Let's face it, in the vast majority of speculators this is not a natural part of the grieving process. Regardless of how well respected the individual was, so many of the commentators had no or very little personal connection that they are not grieving. They are simply shocked and saddened. Now, this is not to say that people can't be saddened by the death of someone they didn't know; but to eulogise and express your devastation on your Facebook is taking the level to an extreme. And it comes across as unintentionally disingenuous. A measure of reason (and I know I had a go about this previous post) adds not just the necessary respect but the resposibility acknowledgement too. People who never met the individual are coming out with endless tributes, hyperbole and platitudes.

What it does do is muddy the waters around it. If someone starts with a too-involved tribute, too-personal or too-detailed it attaches more weight to their tribute. Maybe they knew something that other people didn't, had insider information; maybe their thoughts are therefore that more credible. And that is what powers the rumourmill. What may have been a rather flippant and ill-thought but genuinely intended remark spirals out of proportion and somehow crazily gets converted from opinion and speculation into fact. And all this before the coroner's inquest has even been opened.

I understand one aspect of what it is like to be suicidal, I have had my own, very personal, very individual circumstances; but there is no way that I would transpose those onto anybody else's cirucmstances and assume that they are/have been going through exactly the same feelings as I am. To do so would be disrepectful in the extreme.

So please, present the obituary, tell us the historical facts and remember the individual; but do so with an absolute responsibility and do not add confusion with opinion or speculation. Afterall this is one of the few occasions when the individual has not chance to reply, obtain a correction or rectify and misstatement.