I'm so excited: today I have trousers that actually fit!
This may seem a remarkable statement and for me the remarkableness is that I need to make it at all.
You see, I am tall.
Not ridiculously tall. I am 6'4" (around 193cm for those who don't use a yardstick). The UK average is around 5'9.5". I have now found out that less than 5% of the population are my height or taller, but I still don't come across as abnormal. Well, not height-wise. But I am not proportioned in the manner in which shops would like me to be. My legs are long. Not so long as to look unusual, but long enough to expose my socks in a standard 'long' trouser leg. So my new trousers are a 37" inside leg.
The problem really is that I am not that ununsual in my unusualness. The fact that I struggle with clothing (well, getting it to fit at least) is not in any way unique to me either. If I speak to any of my friends they will tell you they have problems.
Trousers and jeans you wouldn't think would be much of a problem. The waist size is specified - 28", 30", 32" etc. Obviously there will be some (like me) who fall inbetween those (at around 30.5") but nothing that a belt can't assist with. Then you get the leg length - short (around 29"), regular (around 31") and long (33"). I am ridiculously over the top, I accept; my current trousers would classify as extra-extra-long. But that's not the only problem.
If you are a 28" inside leg, they simply don't make a 'long' - you have to settle for short or regular. Similarly whilst some shops offer 'extra-long' at around 35", they only do so if your waistband is 34" or greater. A friend suggested to me that I shop in Big and Tall, but the problem is in the name: Big AND Tall. You have to be both. Yes I could get trousers in my length, but then I would be able to fit in the waist twice over.
And obviously 'long' is not necessarily so strictly defined. In some shops a long trouser will be 33". Some it will be less. I have seen some places regard 34" as 'regular'. And there are some that don't tell you at all - you just have to try it out.
But even between stores some people can find that what is 31" to one shop is a different 31" in another shop. I know there are always going to be slight variences due to manufacture, but you will hear some people say "I need a 32" waist in Marks and Spencer, but a 30" waist in Next." I am presuming that they haven't lost that many pounds walking between the stores.
But this isn't just me being particularly long in the trouser department.
I have quite a long torso too. I don't know how - my dimensions don't quite seem to stack up. I can only presume that my tiny head makes up the difference. But a long torso means that all t-shirts are too short. They are all (unless you start looking at XXL) the same length. Never mind, at least I know I am a 'small' because of my pigeon-chest (or shall we just say slender body?) Or sometimes even an extra-small, very occasionally a medium. But if I am buying a jumper or shirt I have to get a medium or a large. This is because the arm-length on anything smaller is simply not enough to keep my forearms warm, let alone my wrists. I have extraordinarily long arms and yet noticably slender wrists. This is why I don't wear long sleeves unless I have to. Even then, medium or large jumpers are often not long enough in the sleeve, but to get anything bigger would swamp me and certainly hide my lithe body, hindering me with my already-hampered attractiveness.
Some places are getting better. There are a number of shops now that sell long-sleeve shirts with longer arms. Some actually allow you to select one of three or four sleeve lengths (though again the lengths offered are often collar-size dependent and I may have to get a wider collar to get the longest arms). However whether they are in stock is another matter.
And that is the real problem. Very very few people fit comfortably into these 'average' sizes because we all differ from average in one or another respect. I don't think I know of a single person who buys medium shirts, medium t-shirts, medium jumpers, 34" regular jeans and size 9 shoes. But the point is of stock - my shoe size is 13, but I regularly have to squeeze into a 12 because that is the largest that many brands manufacture. Go to a shop and whilst the shoe may be manufactured in a size 12, they probably don't have them in. They get sent standard pallets of stock which contain possibly up to twenty pairs of size nines and tens; a dozen or so elevens, eights and sevens; and one pair of size twelves if I am very, very lucky. But at least I can usually get them online.
Realistically it is not my body that is the problem. It is everybody's body. And not just in skewing the averages, but because everybody has a problem finding the right size in something. It's just that I have a problem finding the right size in everything.
And believe me, I would never want to change my body. I love being the height I am - I can see over the heads of other people and reach high up things. I stand out, I am distinctive, unusual. And I like being distinctive. My arms, though ridiculously long, are really useful - particularly as I am so independent, it means I can hold a door in place whilst picking up the screwdriver to screw it back on. Yes I may look ridiculous, but I like that. And again with my thinness, I would much rather be as skinny as a rake than a fatty, any day. I have trouble enough pulling as it is, without struggling to get my arms around them once I have. So I love my body in all its ridiculous unconformity.
I just wish I could get a jumper to fit.
This may seem a remarkable statement and for me the remarkableness is that I need to make it at all.
You see, I am tall.
Not ridiculously tall. I am 6'4" (around 193cm for those who don't use a yardstick). The UK average is around 5'9.5". I have now found out that less than 5% of the population are my height or taller, but I still don't come across as abnormal. Well, not height-wise. But I am not proportioned in the manner in which shops would like me to be. My legs are long. Not so long as to look unusual, but long enough to expose my socks in a standard 'long' trouser leg. So my new trousers are a 37" inside leg.
The problem really is that I am not that ununsual in my unusualness. The fact that I struggle with clothing (well, getting it to fit at least) is not in any way unique to me either. If I speak to any of my friends they will tell you they have problems.
Trousers and jeans you wouldn't think would be much of a problem. The waist size is specified - 28", 30", 32" etc. Obviously there will be some (like me) who fall inbetween those (at around 30.5") but nothing that a belt can't assist with. Then you get the leg length - short (around 29"), regular (around 31") and long (33"). I am ridiculously over the top, I accept; my current trousers would classify as extra-extra-long. But that's not the only problem.
If you are a 28" inside leg, they simply don't make a 'long' - you have to settle for short or regular. Similarly whilst some shops offer 'extra-long' at around 35", they only do so if your waistband is 34" or greater. A friend suggested to me that I shop in Big and Tall, but the problem is in the name: Big AND Tall. You have to be both. Yes I could get trousers in my length, but then I would be able to fit in the waist twice over.
And obviously 'long' is not necessarily so strictly defined. In some shops a long trouser will be 33". Some it will be less. I have seen some places regard 34" as 'regular'. And there are some that don't tell you at all - you just have to try it out.
But even between stores some people can find that what is 31" to one shop is a different 31" in another shop. I know there are always going to be slight variences due to manufacture, but you will hear some people say "I need a 32" waist in Marks and Spencer, but a 30" waist in Next." I am presuming that they haven't lost that many pounds walking between the stores.
But this isn't just me being particularly long in the trouser department.
I have quite a long torso too. I don't know how - my dimensions don't quite seem to stack up. I can only presume that my tiny head makes up the difference. But a long torso means that all t-shirts are too short. They are all (unless you start looking at XXL) the same length. Never mind, at least I know I am a 'small' because of my pigeon-chest (or shall we just say slender body?) Or sometimes even an extra-small, very occasionally a medium. But if I am buying a jumper or shirt I have to get a medium or a large. This is because the arm-length on anything smaller is simply not enough to keep my forearms warm, let alone my wrists. I have extraordinarily long arms and yet noticably slender wrists. This is why I don't wear long sleeves unless I have to. Even then, medium or large jumpers are often not long enough in the sleeve, but to get anything bigger would swamp me and certainly hide my lithe body, hindering me with my already-hampered attractiveness.
Some places are getting better. There are a number of shops now that sell long-sleeve shirts with longer arms. Some actually allow you to select one of three or four sleeve lengths (though again the lengths offered are often collar-size dependent and I may have to get a wider collar to get the longest arms). However whether they are in stock is another matter.
And that is the real problem. Very very few people fit comfortably into these 'average' sizes because we all differ from average in one or another respect. I don't think I know of a single person who buys medium shirts, medium t-shirts, medium jumpers, 34" regular jeans and size 9 shoes. But the point is of stock - my shoe size is 13, but I regularly have to squeeze into a 12 because that is the largest that many brands manufacture. Go to a shop and whilst the shoe may be manufactured in a size 12, they probably don't have them in. They get sent standard pallets of stock which contain possibly up to twenty pairs of size nines and tens; a dozen or so elevens, eights and sevens; and one pair of size twelves if I am very, very lucky. But at least I can usually get them online.
Realistically it is not my body that is the problem. It is everybody's body. And not just in skewing the averages, but because everybody has a problem finding the right size in something. It's just that I have a problem finding the right size in everything.
And believe me, I would never want to change my body. I love being the height I am - I can see over the heads of other people and reach high up things. I stand out, I am distinctive, unusual. And I like being distinctive. My arms, though ridiculously long, are really useful - particularly as I am so independent, it means I can hold a door in place whilst picking up the screwdriver to screw it back on. Yes I may look ridiculous, but I like that. And again with my thinness, I would much rather be as skinny as a rake than a fatty, any day. I have trouble enough pulling as it is, without struggling to get my arms around them once I have. So I love my body in all its ridiculous unconformity.
I just wish I could get a jumper to fit.
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