No, it's not a typo.
I went for my work Christmas meal last night. Only, I'm still not feeling very festive. At all.
It may be a work thing. I'm not a huge fan of hanging around much with my current colleagues. In my immediate team, none of them did or would ever go for a meal. We are a small team comprised of a new chap, an older chap- who could think of nothing worse than socialising - and myself who, as senior, is 'the enemy'. Well, not quite, but they are hardly going to relax around me. So we get merged with another team for our Christmas meal, a team who we barely associate with for the rest of the year.
So why do I go? Well, partly to make myself seem more accessible and not seem like the ogre-manager that they may seem to think I appear. But also because those people who complain the team doesn't do anything, never integrates etc. are the people who don't make an effort and go to the meal. At least this way I have a legitimate reason to complain.
But for some reason this year it just doesn't seem Christmassy. I know that to a great degree this is my own fault. The decorations are starting to go up at work and I have only today and tomorrow left in the office. I've horribly back-ended myself with my holidays this year, but one of the side effects is that I miss the Christmas build-up at work, asking people what they are doing and other such nonsense.
And at home my life is a clutter. Once again I am single for Christmas. I have been with someone on two previous Christmases and there is something inherently infectious (and not in a bad way) about Christmas preparations. You get excited as much for the other person as you do yourself by being infected by their excitedness. But I am used to being single for Christmas. However the house is in a state.
I am having the roof replaced this week. For those of you that have read the news stories about gales and storms, rain and wind and snow you can probably imagine I am revelling in the coincidence that is this same week that I am exposed to the elements. However I took precautions and emptied my loft. This means that the boxes that were in there are scattered around the house. Combine this with emptying the spare room so I can DIY it, this means there is a lot of clutter around. Too much clutter to feel tidy for Christmas, and certainly far too much to make space for where the Christmas tree would normally go. Add further stilll that I am away in the week run up to Christmas and it hardly seems worth it as I won't be theren So it isn't going up this year. And the two that would normally go outside won't go because of the scaffolding for the roof, and the potential to get nicked whilst the house is unoccupied for the week I am away.
The forces really have conspired against me.
And, of course, going away immediately before Christmas means that I am probably concentrating on that rather than Christmas. Once I get back I can start to think about Christmas, for all the one day I have.
And it isn't as though I don't have reason to get excited. I have sorted and organised all the presents, made the cards and am generally ready. The nephew is getting super-excited and I am to be Santa on Christmas day. I have a costume and everything. And I have been eating mince pies for a while. But no matter how much I try to convince myself it's Christmas, it just doesn't feel like it.
There could be an age thing. Not only am I single and childless, but I have little to get excited for. I know what I am getting for Christmas: a drill, a kitchen bin, and a mattress topper. Alk very utilitarian and not in the spirit, but then our family has often been like that.
But I can't help feeling it isn't just me. I know I have done all my shopping online (or Man Shopping) but I haven't felt as though town, and the shops, have helped me get into the spirit.
I don't know if it's a general malais, ennui or anaesthesia, or quite what. Every year they start the Christmas countdown earlier and earlier. The BBC Magazine Monitor regulars will know of the feature whereby readers report their first sighting of Christmas merchandise, and this year Selfridges unveiled some of their Christmas display in July. They claim to have sold around 2000 baubles in the first week, which really isn't that much for a big shop. But if there are Christmas decorations on sale for half of the year is there any surprise when we become ennumbed to the festivities. It's rather like the boy who cried wolf. For half the year. It has bred not just indifference, but active antipathy, conscious disengagement.
And as hardly having shopped in town (again, it has been done online and I don't want to spend any more money than necessary with getting the roof done and going away) I haven't been exposed to the relentless tirade of Christmas tunes (although I went to a shop on Sunday and heard something worse than Christmas tunes: terrible covers of Christmas tunes because they were clearly tok cheap to afford the originals). But maybe it's a good thing, maybe a need a year off to rekindle my love and appreciate what has become very mundane and perfunctory.
I went for my work Christmas meal last night. Only, I'm still not feeling very festive. At all.
It may be a work thing. I'm not a huge fan of hanging around much with my current colleagues. In my immediate team, none of them did or would ever go for a meal. We are a small team comprised of a new chap, an older chap- who could think of nothing worse than socialising - and myself who, as senior, is 'the enemy'. Well, not quite, but they are hardly going to relax around me. So we get merged with another team for our Christmas meal, a team who we barely associate with for the rest of the year.
So why do I go? Well, partly to make myself seem more accessible and not seem like the ogre-manager that they may seem to think I appear. But also because those people who complain the team doesn't do anything, never integrates etc. are the people who don't make an effort and go to the meal. At least this way I have a legitimate reason to complain.
But for some reason this year it just doesn't seem Christmassy. I know that to a great degree this is my own fault. The decorations are starting to go up at work and I have only today and tomorrow left in the office. I've horribly back-ended myself with my holidays this year, but one of the side effects is that I miss the Christmas build-up at work, asking people what they are doing and other such nonsense.
And at home my life is a clutter. Once again I am single for Christmas. I have been with someone on two previous Christmases and there is something inherently infectious (and not in a bad way) about Christmas preparations. You get excited as much for the other person as you do yourself by being infected by their excitedness. But I am used to being single for Christmas. However the house is in a state.
I am having the roof replaced this week. For those of you that have read the news stories about gales and storms, rain and wind and snow you can probably imagine I am revelling in the coincidence that is this same week that I am exposed to the elements. However I took precautions and emptied my loft. This means that the boxes that were in there are scattered around the house. Combine this with emptying the spare room so I can DIY it, this means there is a lot of clutter around. Too much clutter to feel tidy for Christmas, and certainly far too much to make space for where the Christmas tree would normally go. Add further stilll that I am away in the week run up to Christmas and it hardly seems worth it as I won't be theren So it isn't going up this year. And the two that would normally go outside won't go because of the scaffolding for the roof, and the potential to get nicked whilst the house is unoccupied for the week I am away.
The forces really have conspired against me.
And, of course, going away immediately before Christmas means that I am probably concentrating on that rather than Christmas. Once I get back I can start to think about Christmas, for all the one day I have.
And it isn't as though I don't have reason to get excited. I have sorted and organised all the presents, made the cards and am generally ready. The nephew is getting super-excited and I am to be Santa on Christmas day. I have a costume and everything. And I have been eating mince pies for a while. But no matter how much I try to convince myself it's Christmas, it just doesn't feel like it.
There could be an age thing. Not only am I single and childless, but I have little to get excited for. I know what I am getting for Christmas: a drill, a kitchen bin, and a mattress topper. Alk very utilitarian and not in the spirit, but then our family has often been like that.
But I can't help feeling it isn't just me. I know I have done all my shopping online (or Man Shopping) but I haven't felt as though town, and the shops, have helped me get into the spirit.
I don't know if it's a general malais, ennui or anaesthesia, or quite what. Every year they start the Christmas countdown earlier and earlier. The BBC Magazine Monitor regulars will know of the feature whereby readers report their first sighting of Christmas merchandise, and this year Selfridges unveiled some of their Christmas display in July. They claim to have sold around 2000 baubles in the first week, which really isn't that much for a big shop. But if there are Christmas decorations on sale for half of the year is there any surprise when we become ennumbed to the festivities. It's rather like the boy who cried wolf. For half the year. It has bred not just indifference, but active antipathy, conscious disengagement.
And as hardly having shopped in town (again, it has been done online and I don't want to spend any more money than necessary with getting the roof done and going away) I haven't been exposed to the relentless tirade of Christmas tunes (although I went to a shop on Sunday and heard something worse than Christmas tunes: terrible covers of Christmas tunes because they were clearly tok cheap to afford the originals). But maybe it's a good thing, maybe a need a year off to rekindle my love and appreciate what has become very mundane and perfunctory.
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