iDate v5.0 (maybe)

So it's the regular, weekly date. That's how it happens. You just slip into a routine. Already it is boring. No, it isn't. But it could easily turn that way. So, we went for food last night. This was different though - this was proper food in a restaurant. I'm still not sure whether that counts as a 'Meal' or not though. I have to say I was disappointed with myself. I was grumpy before I even turned up. I have been tired recently. I had hoped that the whole 'not drinking' malarky would allow me to establish a better sleep routine but it hasn't - there is no change. And then my nesting has reached pretty extreme levels which has meant that even by the time I do get to bed I don't settle. I have been engaged in lots of little, niggly jobs like hammering down floorboards that have been loose for months, replacing the pane of glass in the greenhouse that broke last year, clearing the junk off the patio that has been waiting for months and replacing the zip on the coat that I bought this time last year at a shop down in London that broke instantly and that I haven't been able to get back to the shop to exchange. All this has meant not only do I not settle, but also that I am knackering myself out even before I get to bed. So yesterday should, ought to have been welcome relief - a night off. A night when I didn't even need to cook. Now, aside from being tired, I started out in a bad mood. I was in a bad mood because we were supposed to meet at 7:30 pm. My train was to get in at 6:30 pm. That hour is literally only just enough time for me to get home, turn around and head back out again. That or I was just to kick my heels around town for an hour. I hadn't been given any explanation as to why we couldn't meet at 6:30 which I think added to the frustration. Then my first train ran late, meaning I would get to Nottingham until 7:10pm. Now, coincidentally this meant that I wouldn't have to sit around kicking my heels for an hour but would in fact be pretty much on time. But in fact it just made me more annoyed. Add to this that I actually hadn't heard anything from when I sent a text when leaving work asking where to meet; until 7:15 as I was leaving the station demanding that I go to his flat. Sod off. Meet me in the town square. and return texts promptly. Well, that's what I should have said but I didn't. I went round the flat. And off we went for dinner. Proper restaurant. Jamie Oliver's Italian. Nice enough but I know of places just as nice but less pricey. But we had a nice chat. Again, my niggled state started to show when he seemed to make absolutely no effort to ask for the bill. I couldn't catch anyone's eye as my back was to the room (dislike, though I think he engineered this so I couldn't get distracted or eye-up the waiter that I quite fancied) and he really had no impetus, but then again he was sat on a considerably more comfortable seat than I was. And then we went to a pub for a couple of drinks. A good pub. Good because it was on my way home. The tendency in the past has been to go to a pub of his choice which will usually send us towards his flat, away from my home; or just straight to his flat. But in the pub he positionned himself so he couldn't really see me properly. Or me him. There was a lovely corner that we could have sat in and both had comfortable seats, but no - in order to look at him I had to screw round uncomfortably on the bench. And all this with a diet coke (I had lemonade over dinner but then I was eating so I could have something sugary without worrying about my teeth). And then we just went each to our own homes. Which was no bad thing. By the time we'd eaten and gotten to the pub it was almost 10pm so it would either have been skip the pub, rush back to his so he could give me a blowie and then me dash home late; or go to the pub for a drink and relax by which time it would be too late to go back to his and I would get home at a sensible time. So yes, I was in a grump. And for that reason it may not have been a fair date. But then I'm not too sure how it is going... He seems to be an absolute dichotomy. Or maybe not a dichotomy but certainly contradictory. He still persists in referring to "grabbing food" and both when we met and separated he called me "mate" which isn't relationshippy at all. But then he is also far too into me. He keeps telling me how fit I am and how amazing I am with all the stuff that I do at home and work and it's too much. I like to think of myself as a nice, ordinary, humble sort of a chap; and I don't take flattery keenly. I know this is a different sort of dating to the usual wake-up-naked-on-the-first-night sort, and I know I am not good at dating at all anyway and need to get used to it; but still, make your mind up: am I 'mate' or am I amazing?