10 days.
10 days without a post.
An awful lot can happen in 10 days.
It hasn't, but it could have.
There has been some excitement involving drinking with 'clebs; but I am loathe to name-drop so I won't go into that.
Anyhow, I have been ridiculously busy at work, and - moreover - have been working with even less privacy than usual, hence the lack of posts.
But let me waffle on about Break-Me-Up-Boy.
B-Mub is absolutely gorgeous. (I won't call him B-Mub again: it doesn't work). I have mentioned before; how he ticks every single box that I need ticking, even down to being a non-smoker. He is, [however/also] young. He is twenty. Just. And I am thirty.
Lets put this into context:
When he was age 10 and still at Primary school, I was twenty and finishing off my university degree.
Now, I know people go on about how age differences don't matter, and that age is just a number. Those are usually the people for whom age is just a rather large number. But the difference is really one of perspective. Ten years at age twenty when you are going through a hell of a lot of changes both physically, emotionally and socially - leaving school, leaving home, adapting to looking after yourself and learning in a whole new manner - is a vastly different ten years to that in your later life when the most massive change you may be experiencing is how and when to retire. The thoughts between people aged between, say, fifty and sixty are considerably closer than those between people aged between twenty and thirty.
Now, I am a young thirty. I still go out drinking and clubbing, enjoying gigs and festivals and sex and such like. Aside from the receding hairline (thanks mum's side of the family for that) and a few creases (which sounds better than wrinkles) I would fit in very well with a group aged twenty.
But I have to admit that my stage of life does pose different considerations.
So, for example, whilst he languishes in bed of a morning, I am already off on the morning commute. This doesn't just affect the morning routine, but I also have to consider this at night when he is probably off to all the student bars getting drunk and kebabed; and I am having the last cup of tea before bed.
Whilst he is debating whether to start writing the essay that needs to be in the following day; I am having to make a decision as to whether to apply for a different job or stay with the one I am already doing.
He has to decide whether to spend the last of his student loan on a book or a beer. I have a rigid monthly financial budget which has to ensure that my pension, mortgage, tax and bills get paid and yet still leaves me with enough money to live on.
And it's not just the sensible side of things either. It is the maturity too.
Whilst I may very well be looking for a relationship, looking to settle down, he probably just wants to go around bonking everything cute in sight. I know that at his age that was certainly the plan. Well, it wasn't really 'the plan' but it is what I ended up doing. And he probably needs to do that to realise eventually that I am the one that he wants to settle down with. Hopefully.
I recall back when I started university (way back when, before Facebook even existed) that on of my friends in freshers' week had a girlfriend. He had been dating her since A-Levels and continued to do so for the entire first year. They broke up the first summer he returned back because the distance was just too much. But his attitude was that being in a relationship during that first year was the worst thing he could have done. He felt so restricted, unable to fully enjoy himself, even to the extent that he felt 'tied' to back home and didn't really accept that he was in a new city to live - that he was only there temporarily. He didn't really settle into university life until the second year, by which time it was too late - everyone else had already made formative friendships and whilst he wanted to go out, drink and bonk; they all wanted to do reading researching and writing.
I have had the opportunity to enjoy myself and it would be wrong of me to deny that to him. And so I wasn't too disappointed when I suggested a date to be turned down. Well, I was actually - I was really quite gutted, but I took a step back and looked at things sensibly.
Obviously it will be difficult. I won't just be a bystander; waiting for the moment he wants a relationship with me. Because of the nature of the scene around town I will be there watching whilst he engages on 'entertaining' with other people. And I know full well that I will get annoyed by that. But I will have to man-up, be sensible about it (even though I will have been drinking) and tell myself that it is nothing personal to me, he's just having his fun and that is exactly what I was like when I was that age.
Lets put this into context:
When he was age 10 and still at Primary school, I was twenty and finishing off my university degree.
Now, I know people go on about how age differences don't matter, and that age is just a number. Those are usually the people for whom age is just a rather large number. But the difference is really one of perspective. Ten years at age twenty when you are going through a hell of a lot of changes both physically, emotionally and socially - leaving school, leaving home, adapting to looking after yourself and learning in a whole new manner - is a vastly different ten years to that in your later life when the most massive change you may be experiencing is how and when to retire. The thoughts between people aged between, say, fifty and sixty are considerably closer than those between people aged between twenty and thirty.
Now, I am a young thirty. I still go out drinking and clubbing, enjoying gigs and festivals and sex and such like. Aside from the receding hairline (thanks mum's side of the family for that) and a few creases (which sounds better than wrinkles) I would fit in very well with a group aged twenty.
But I have to admit that my stage of life does pose different considerations.
So, for example, whilst he languishes in bed of a morning, I am already off on the morning commute. This doesn't just affect the morning routine, but I also have to consider this at night when he is probably off to all the student bars getting drunk and kebabed; and I am having the last cup of tea before bed.
Whilst he is debating whether to start writing the essay that needs to be in the following day; I am having to make a decision as to whether to apply for a different job or stay with the one I am already doing.
He has to decide whether to spend the last of his student loan on a book or a beer. I have a rigid monthly financial budget which has to ensure that my pension, mortgage, tax and bills get paid and yet still leaves me with enough money to live on.
And it's not just the sensible side of things either. It is the maturity too.
Whilst I may very well be looking for a relationship, looking to settle down, he probably just wants to go around bonking everything cute in sight. I know that at his age that was certainly the plan. Well, it wasn't really 'the plan' but it is what I ended up doing. And he probably needs to do that to realise eventually that I am the one that he wants to settle down with. Hopefully.
I recall back when I started university (way back when, before Facebook even existed) that on of my friends in freshers' week had a girlfriend. He had been dating her since A-Levels and continued to do so for the entire first year. They broke up the first summer he returned back because the distance was just too much. But his attitude was that being in a relationship during that first year was the worst thing he could have done. He felt so restricted, unable to fully enjoy himself, even to the extent that he felt 'tied' to back home and didn't really accept that he was in a new city to live - that he was only there temporarily. He didn't really settle into university life until the second year, by which time it was too late - everyone else had already made formative friendships and whilst he wanted to go out, drink and bonk; they all wanted to do reading researching and writing.
I have had the opportunity to enjoy myself and it would be wrong of me to deny that to him. And so I wasn't too disappointed when I suggested a date to be turned down. Well, I was actually - I was really quite gutted, but I took a step back and looked at things sensibly.
Obviously it will be difficult. I won't just be a bystander; waiting for the moment he wants a relationship with me. Because of the nature of the scene around town I will be there watching whilst he engages on 'entertaining' with other people. And I know full well that I will get annoyed by that. But I will have to man-up, be sensible about it (even though I will have been drinking) and tell myself that it is nothing personal to me, he's just having his fun and that is exactly what I was like when I was that age.
And now I really do feel old.
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