A bit of rough

I don't know how it started or why, but I have a bit of an obsession.

When I look at people to decide whether or not they are attractive, I am obsessed by hairy chests. As a gay (well, bi, but don't tell my mother) I'm a pretty manly type of gay (well, bi). Not pretty as in attractive, pretty as in pretty-much. I'm not one of those who mince around squarking at each other, crying if they break a nail or can't get their hair to do what they want it to do. I do hard gardening, DIY, play football, go climbing and camping (tent-camping, not mince-camping) and I can't dance.

But I always look to see if someone has a hairy chest (well, the men at least). I have started finding myself looking at that before I even look at their face. Sometimes I think that I actually start fancying people on the basis that they have a hairy chest - I'm sure they have to be reasonably attractive from the outset, but the hairyness is a distinct draw. And I can't help but be disappointed when they don't have a hairy chest. I should probably think of a smooth body as being 'wipe-clean'; but no - it just seems a waste of somewhere to put a nice bit of hair. They just aren't man enough for me.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't stop me fancying women, although ironically it is the women with the least hairy chests that I tend to go for. Although I probably do still pay attention to their chest benefits.

But it's odd. People sometimes ask me if I have a 'type' of person whom I go for, and I don't really. I have a tendency to prefer shorter people, slightly younger people, and they have to be thin or defined. But I'm not averse to a tall person, a slightly older person. I have no preference of brown eyes over blue and when it comes to hair colour I'm game - I've even had sex with a ginger person before. And even then the hairy chest is not an absolute obligation, it's just really really disappointing if they don't have it.

I have a hairy chest too. It's not as though I am looking to substitute my own. In fact, it could be worse still because of the velcro-effect. And it gets worse if any semen dries and sticks you to each other. Maybe it is because I am thinning on top and am trying to maximise the hairyness.

And again, it's not as though I look for someone to be more dominant, more manly than me. If anything I look for people to be 'compliant' and yet still manly. Certainly not the camp type. I want someone with who I can hold a coversation about plumbing and shelf brackets and whether that was off-side or not and who can help me out with my erection. Of my tent, obviously. A bit of grrr but not so much grrr that it overpowers.

What I don't get is when people shave their chest. Trimming I can understand, just about. Keeping things all nice and neat and tidy and not getting out of hand (rather like my bush round the back. The privet bush. In my garden) I can cope with, though there is nothing quite like seeing the hair wrap all around your fingers. But a trim, so long as it isn't too short is ok. Shaving it all off, however, is so frustrating. Here is a really nice, cute guy who has decided to shave off chest hair which a) other men would possibly give their right arm for; and b) makes him look as though he hasn't hit puberty yet. At least they can grown chest hair though. All I need to be is pursuasive enough to convince him not to shave it off in the future.

I was quite pleased at the weekend as, even though one of the men I snogged was quite young (on a gap year before uni) he still have a lovely triangle of chest hair poking itself out of his v-neck t-shirt. Currently there are two train fitties, each of whom has a positive rug poking out through the open-collared shirt; one dark, one blonde. And I just can't help but look - I can barely concentrate on anything else. I just want to undo the rest of the buttons, pull the shirt off and stroke the furry chest.

I don't like a hairy back though. That would just be ridiculous. Even the shoulders is going a bit far.