So I'm back swimming again after the holiday. When you step on the weighing scales and realise how much you've put on with three weeks of enjoying, not exercising (though still not 'relaxing') and eating restaurant-sized portions daily.
Now, I'm not a far of exercising. I'm not a fatty. Not by any means. When you're on dating websites they have various build-types: skinny, slim, athletic, average, muscular, chunky, fat etc.
I assume.
I would say I was probably athletic.
And I middle along, varying in weight very little and concerned about it similarly. But I still feel a need to exercise out of healthiness and such. And I do feel better for it: having done my exercise whatever it is I have the endorphines and seratonin pumping round my body, and I can go to bed feeling tired but having done my bit.
And, of course, it means when I do enjoy myself I feel less guilty. Oh, and I can smile as I jog past the fat man stood at the bus-stop eating a pork pie.
But during the actual process it is a chore. Not just physically demanding, but time consuming. So whilst I am waiting for the endorphins to kick in, whilst I am noticing the aches, the chaffing, blisters the tweeks and niggles, I am also thinking about the million and one things that I could be doing back at home.
And when you consider that time at home is tight anyway, that means a lot of convincing to take an hour out. Of an evening I usually get home around 7pm, I then (during the summer) spend a couple of hours in the garden and then cooking which means I settle down to eat soon after 9pm. Then there is housework and DIY and projects to do before bath and bed. But I've already discussed this before...
So, take an extra hour out of this a couple of times a week, and it's a lot to factor in, so I have to really commit and make it as easy for myself as possible, and fit exercise into my existing routines. So, for example, on a Tuesday and Thursday I jog to and from work. This means that I'm doing the exercise without having to take any time out of my routine. And I'm doing it to actually get somewhere, rather than just to wear out another pair of trainers. It means I achieve a target - I get somewhere, rather than to a digital number.
But I hate jogging.
It's inefficient, it's tiring and it's impactful. Hence why I prefer swimming.
And, to be fair, they have made it as easy as possible for me to swim: the swimming pool is on my way home, so I don't have to make a diversion let alone a special trip out. Swimming 'feels' less knackering, I think due to the low-impact nature. And swimming does my arms as well as just my legs.
But I feel uncomfortable doing any sport. I'm a 'middler'. I'm no expert at sport. I always feel very sel-conscious. Am I going too slow? With jogging, for example, I can quite happily smile when I see other people in the street jogging along at the same speed as I am walking. But maybe I am the same?
With swimming I know I am towards the faster end of the spectrum, but even then maybe I am showing myself up as one of those dicks who is a professional swimmer, but still chooses to use general swim at the local swimming pool to show off.
There was someone like that this last week - despite the three other fastest people all using the fast lane with him, he had a word with the lifeguard trying to claim it for himself as he was faster; clearly forgetting that it was a public swimming baths, rather than a private gym, and therefore had to accommodate more than six people in a six-lane pool at any one time. I don't actually believe I was going any slower than him (and I was doing breast stroke, enough with the tittering at the use of 'breast' and 'stroke' please) but I still felt conscious as though his complaint was aimed at me.
And that's not all. What if I'm doing it wrong? Breast stroke (stop it!) I know I've got the hang of. But with front crawl I can't see what my arms are doing. There is someone there who does a weird amalgamation of crawl and breast; and another who brings his arms over his head as you'd expect, but then just slaps them straight down on the water. Maybe that is me? Maybe I am even worse?! I have visions of people on the other side of the pool being unable to swim because of the wake that I am creating.
And it's even worse with jogging. I'm sure that my legs are twisted so that I either have to running with my feet pointing out at an odd angle, or else my knees knock together. Or my feet slap down noisily.
And that's before we even start on the noises I make, gasping for breath doing either front crawl or jogging. And then with swimming there is the body image. I know I'm 'athletic' but there are people there who are skinnier, fitter, or more athletic than me. Yes there may be seventeen beached whales in the shallow end (why do people go for a 'general swim' then sit around at the shallow end wall gossiping away for 80% of the time?) but I always end up in the same lane as the person who is as skinny, as fast, and probably has a far better technique than me.
I know I should be comparing myself against the 90% who are fatter and slower than me; who go to the pool for half an hour and spend just a quarter of that time actually swimming (as opposed to me yesterday who swam 2.5km, that's just over 1.5miles) but I can't.
Anyhow, as I write this I am sat in a pub as, once again, CrossCountryTrains has meant that I miss my evening connection so have an hour to kill. And whilst I'm being all smug by having justified this lovely refreshing pint of lager; I can't help but be self-conscious about the smell of sweat emanating from me because of the jog from work to the station.
Now, I'm not a far of exercising. I'm not a fatty. Not by any means. When you're on dating websites they have various build-types: skinny, slim, athletic, average, muscular, chunky, fat etc.
I assume.
I would say I was probably athletic.
And I middle along, varying in weight very little and concerned about it similarly. But I still feel a need to exercise out of healthiness and such. And I do feel better for it: having done my exercise whatever it is I have the endorphines and seratonin pumping round my body, and I can go to bed feeling tired but having done my bit.
And, of course, it means when I do enjoy myself I feel less guilty. Oh, and I can smile as I jog past the fat man stood at the bus-stop eating a pork pie.
But during the actual process it is a chore. Not just physically demanding, but time consuming. So whilst I am waiting for the endorphins to kick in, whilst I am noticing the aches, the chaffing, blisters the tweeks and niggles, I am also thinking about the million and one things that I could be doing back at home.
And when you consider that time at home is tight anyway, that means a lot of convincing to take an hour out. Of an evening I usually get home around 7pm, I then (during the summer) spend a couple of hours in the garden and then cooking which means I settle down to eat soon after 9pm. Then there is housework and DIY and projects to do before bath and bed. But I've already discussed this before...
So, take an extra hour out of this a couple of times a week, and it's a lot to factor in, so I have to really commit and make it as easy for myself as possible, and fit exercise into my existing routines. So, for example, on a Tuesday and Thursday I jog to and from work. This means that I'm doing the exercise without having to take any time out of my routine. And I'm doing it to actually get somewhere, rather than just to wear out another pair of trainers. It means I achieve a target - I get somewhere, rather than to a digital number.
But I hate jogging.
It's inefficient, it's tiring and it's impactful. Hence why I prefer swimming.
And, to be fair, they have made it as easy as possible for me to swim: the swimming pool is on my way home, so I don't have to make a diversion let alone a special trip out. Swimming 'feels' less knackering, I think due to the low-impact nature. And swimming does my arms as well as just my legs.
But I feel uncomfortable doing any sport. I'm a 'middler'. I'm no expert at sport. I always feel very sel-conscious. Am I going too slow? With jogging, for example, I can quite happily smile when I see other people in the street jogging along at the same speed as I am walking. But maybe I am the same?
With swimming I know I am towards the faster end of the spectrum, but even then maybe I am showing myself up as one of those dicks who is a professional swimmer, but still chooses to use general swim at the local swimming pool to show off.
There was someone like that this last week - despite the three other fastest people all using the fast lane with him, he had a word with the lifeguard trying to claim it for himself as he was faster; clearly forgetting that it was a public swimming baths, rather than a private gym, and therefore had to accommodate more than six people in a six-lane pool at any one time. I don't actually believe I was going any slower than him (and I was doing breast stroke, enough with the tittering at the use of 'breast' and 'stroke' please) but I still felt conscious as though his complaint was aimed at me.
And that's not all. What if I'm doing it wrong? Breast stroke (stop it!) I know I've got the hang of. But with front crawl I can't see what my arms are doing. There is someone there who does a weird amalgamation of crawl and breast; and another who brings his arms over his head as you'd expect, but then just slaps them straight down on the water. Maybe that is me? Maybe I am even worse?! I have visions of people on the other side of the pool being unable to swim because of the wake that I am creating.
And it's even worse with jogging. I'm sure that my legs are twisted so that I either have to running with my feet pointing out at an odd angle, or else my knees knock together. Or my feet slap down noisily.
And that's before we even start on the noises I make, gasping for breath doing either front crawl or jogging. And then with swimming there is the body image. I know I'm 'athletic' but there are people there who are skinnier, fitter, or more athletic than me. Yes there may be seventeen beached whales in the shallow end (why do people go for a 'general swim' then sit around at the shallow end wall gossiping away for 80% of the time?) but I always end up in the same lane as the person who is as skinny, as fast, and probably has a far better technique than me.
I know I should be comparing myself against the 90% who are fatter and slower than me; who go to the pool for half an hour and spend just a quarter of that time actually swimming (as opposed to me yesterday who swam 2.5km, that's just over 1.5miles) but I can't.
Anyhow, as I write this I am sat in a pub as, once again, CrossCountryTrains has meant that I miss my evening connection so have an hour to kill. And whilst I'm being all smug by having justified this lovely refreshing pint of lager; I can't help but be self-conscious about the smell of sweat emanating from me because of the jog from work to the station.
No comments:
Post a Comment